Life Style

Positive education, parents testify

“An ideal towards which I tend”

Lara, 39, school teacher

“Positive education is an ideal towards which I strive. Let’s say that I would like to succeed in living with my three children, on a daily basis, without going through punishment and screaming. I get there when I put myself in their shoes and consider how they perceive the situation as well. Two days ago, for example, my two year old daughter wet the bed and had to wash her at 11pm.

After that, she obviously didn’t want to sleep anymore. I told her “okay” and we settled in her bed to read a book. After three minutes, she was falling asleep. In fact, she just wanted to stay with me a little longer. But if I had insisted that she go to bed right away, things wouldn’t have gone well.

Unfortunately, I don’t always react in the right way because I’m too busy or tired. I don’t blame myself, no one is perfect but I regret not always being in line with what I want to experience. “

“I do positive education without knowing it”

Anne, 50, teacher

“I just realized that I was doing positive education without knowing it! During my pregnancy, I read “Baby, tell me who you are” (1), a book that has focused my gaze on education and I realize that it fits perfectly with what the ‘we call positive parenting. I also read Françoise Dolto and I very quickly decided to talk to my daughter Noélie, to tell her about my moods, and above all to trust her.

A baby does not want to take power over his parents, as traditional education suggests. We are not in a power struggle. This approach completely changes the relationship. I never lied to my daughter, for example, and when I say ‘no’ to her, I have to know how to explain to her why.

Of course, I do sometimes scream but I apologize and tell him that I couldn’t do otherwise. I don’t want her to believe that she was the one who forced me. When I was little, I received a few slaps and I told myself that we were getting over it, but it never occurred to me to hit my child ”.

“I ended up having a burnout”

Julie, 38, graphic designer

“When my daughter was born, I read several books on positive education. I was new to parenthood and didn’t have all the keys to understanding my baby. Faced with certain behaviors, it is often easier to get annoyed and it is true that these readings have given me the tools to find other reactions.

At the time, I had also discussed it with the mothers of the nursery and, there, I saw that there could be excesses. Some seemed too lax to me. When their children hit or bite others, they just said, “Hey, no! “. Even though I have never hit my daughter, I think it takes a bit of firmness and limits or the kids will feel helpless.

It is this kind of situation that diverted me from this method, especially as I find it very guilty. You have to be positive all the time, all the time perfect. And, if we get angry, we are made to understand that the anger comes from us. All of this adds to the anxiety, when as a young parent you are already stressed about wanting to do well. When my daughter was little, I put so much pressure on myself that I ended up having a burnout. “


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