Life Style

“Our handicap is not an obstacle to parenthood”

“Hamou and I have been paraplegics since the age of 21 and 19, following car accidents. We met by chance a few years later, but our first relationship didn’t last. We did not follow the same path during the reconstruction. I immediately accepted my disability, I took trips, I moved, while Hamou resumed her life where it was, with the same friends, the same nightclub outings. He didn’t want to surround himself with people in wheelchairs.

→ READ. “Parents of disabled children have a stress equivalent to a soldier”

In the years that followed, I had several love stories and unintentionally became pregnant at the age of 24. I did not think I could give birth and I welcomed this child with joy, even though I was separated from the father. At seven months pregnant, a midwife questioned my ability to care for a baby on my own, but I was confident.

“The only time I felt helpless”

It is above all a question of arrangement: as my armchair did not fit under the changing table, I changed my daughter on the bed or on the kitchen table. I made him take the shower in the sink… A child needs love, to be clean and to eat. It doesn’t matter how, as long as her needs are met.

When I was 4, my daughter got stuck at the top of a slide, paralyzed by fear. The park was deserted and it took me twenty minutes to calm her down and convince her to come down. It was the only time I felt helpless to help her because of my disability. Since then, I have had three other children with Hamou and, like all parents, we sometimes have moments of exhaustion in the evening, when they scream and jump everywhere. But our handicap is not an obstacle to parenthood.

“We cling to achieve what is important to us”

People often point out to us that our children are more independent, that they have a different way of looking at things. When they drop an object, they pick it up themselves… But they moan like everyone else when asked to empty the dishwasher. We did not have children to help us later. If we had been addicted, we would have abstained.

Our dream: to travel in a motorhome for several months in northern Europe. When we come close to death, we hold on to achieve what is important to us. “


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