Life Style

“I say no more easily”: after #MeToo, young women are evolving



► “Consent is never easy”

Sabrina, 22 years oldworks in Paris

“I don’t feel like #MeToo has stopped me from dating. I still happen to have a crush, in a party or a bar, to leave a boy my contact on Snapchat and Instagram so that we can meet again to get to know each other better. That said, I think girls are now less afraid of rejecting men. They gained self-confidence. The fact that more and more women spoke about their negative experiences allowed us to understand that our voice could carry and that we had the right to say no without feeling guilty.

We talked about #MeToo even as a family. I have even more admiration today for my mother, who for me is a heroine: she left her first husband with my older brother under her arm in order to escape domestic violence. I realize how brave she was. By talking about it between us, we broke a silence that was due to modesty, but also to the desire to protect the male ego.

That said, consent is never simple. There is a part of tacitness. For example, if I accept an invitation to a boy somewhere, it means that I agree to go further. However, that does not mean that I will accept anything either. I more easily say no to something I don’t like. My girlfriends too. On our WhatsApp group, in particular, we tell each other about our romantic dates. And since one of us is in a relationship with Swann, an adorable, hyper-considerate boy, he gives us a bit of a scale to evaluate our own dates (“dates”). If a boy isn’t up to Swann, he’s dead!

But flirting is a bit of a game and it will always stay that way. Many girls are bolder than before. Some are still waiting for the boy to make the first move, but others, on the contrary, take matters into their own hands. They dare to flirt more than before. »

► “We become chilly”

Alexia, 25 years oldworks in Courbevoie (Hauts-de-Seine)

“I think the Tinder app has changed dating more than #MeToo. In my generation, using dating apps has become the norm. We put a photo on the application, we fill out a profile explaining who we are and what we want and, from there, the app offers us profiles that correspond to our affinities.

→ INVESTIGATION. “Am I heavy? ”: young men in the #MeToo era

As I select a lot of boys I meet like that, I’ve never had any problems. But I see that we all become very cautious in real life, because we are no longer used to people touching our arms, for example. Girls tend to say very quickly: “You cross the line” and we are probably losing opportunities to meet.

I find it incredible to think that my grandparents could meet on the street, or by slipping a note on the windshield of the car! Conversely, today, we tend to run away as soon as we are asked the time… whereas deep down, I like it when the boys take the first step. »

→ VIDEO. Dating apps: essential to find love?

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To read

♦ Play, a driving force for life. How play develops children’s creativity and social intelligence

by Patrice Huerre,

Nathan, “Childhood in question”, 2021

“Learning to respect consent can start by accepting the rules of the game and knowing how to manage your frustration”, explains the child psychiatrist.

♦ Men also come from Venus. Strong and sensitive, the new faces of virility

by Christine Castelain-Meunier,

Larousse, 2020

The sociologist examines the new faces of masculinity and the expectations that weigh on modern man.

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