High sex demand is sex addiction?

My girlfriend has quite a high demand, almost every day wants to have sex. However, due to the pressure of life and work, it is difficult for me to respond. (Hung, 25 years old, Hanoi)

However, next October we will get married, I am very afraid that this will affect the happiness of husband and wife. Consult a doctor, is this a sex addiction and what should I do?


Sex addiction is a psycho-physiological abnormality that not only affects physical and mental well-being, but also damages relationships, quality of life, and social safety.

A common sign is an unusually high frequency of sex, which can happen with multiple partners or even strangers. Patients may lie to cover up these acts or have obsessions with sexual activity, often feel upset or upset when they do not achieve their excessive sexual acts, reducing their work productivity. People with sex addiction easily give up their daily habits and previous hobbies to spend time thinking, imagining and performing sexual acts.

The cause of the disease has not been clarified. However, people who are heavily exposed to pornography, have mental disorders, abuse substances or have a history of sexual abuse are more likely to develop sex addiction.

Therefore, your girlfriend’s case is not a sex addiction but more of a need. Couples do not come to equate a mere increase in physiological needs with sexual addiction. The key to sex addiction is the accompanying psychological abnormalities.

Couples need to focus on quality over quantity when having sex, “it’s important that both feel satisfied and happy when enjoying it”. If only one person feels satisfied, the relationship will become an obligation to the other person, gradually affecting family happiness. In this case, you can confide in your girlfriend to adjust the frequency, reasonable needs or improve health through exercise and nutrition.

There is no exact figure on how much sex is enough, because each person’s needs are related. This need depends on the age, lifestyle, living habits, health of each object and the quality of the relationship, “nobody is the same”.

A study by the Kinsey Research Institute found that on average, between the ages of 18 and 29, humans have sex 112 times per year. Between the ages of 30 and 39, having sex about 86 times a year is considered healthy Men Journal. Sex therapist Ian Kerner says most couples should have sex at least once a week. During the infatuation phase, or honeymoon, couples tend to have sex every time they’re together in private. After this, couples should maintain sex once or twice a week is ideal for a healthy sex life.

When the adjustments in living habits and lifestyle are not effective, the couple should seek the help of specialists for support. In addition, couples need to frankly discuss their desires and needs about sex, avoid disagreements and prolonged inhibitions, affecting family happiness.

Doctor Le Duy Thao
Department of Andrology, Hong Ngoc General Hospital


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