Life Style

Forgiveness in the couple, a personal journey



► “It is more difficult to forgive your spouse”

Cedric, 43 years

“I have been led to forgive my companions several times. The functioning of a couple often leads to behaviors or actions that cause harm. In one of my unions, I forgave a bewilderment of seduction towards another person. We made progress but that was not enough to save our relationship. The following year, she did it again. In another relationship, I forgave harmful and hurtful attitudes. Forgiveness is an act of love. Giving it is a gift. To receive it is also something big and strong.

→ INVESTIGATION. Lies, lack of support, infidelity… Forgive yourself within the couple

It is probably more difficult to forgive your spouse because you have been hurt by the person you love. But love makes you want to fix the relationship. Which doesn’t mean forgetting. On the contrary, we must learn lessons from this ordeal. Sometimes, however, we cannot forgive when the betrayal is too violent. But it may also be a sign that we no longer love enough. »

► “I would not be able to forgive an infidelity”

Married, 40 years

“It happens to us, my husband and I, to have hurtful words during an argument. But you have to know how to forgive to move on. When we love each other, it’s not so complicated to have a little humility and to say “Excuse me, I didn’t think what I said would hurt you”Where “Excuse me for not taking enough time to be with you”. These are the pardons of everyday life. Those that are not difficult to ask or to grant.

On the other hand, I know that I would not be able to forgive an infidelity. I told my husband. If that happened, I would leave because the trust would be broken. If you cheat once, you can do it many times. And I couldn’t live with that eventuality. We got married before God, it was a lifetime commitment, not a CDD! »

► “When we love, we want to forgive to move forward”

Emmanuelle, 45 years old

“Forgiveness in the couple? I confess that I never really thought of it in those terms. I felt hurt several times by my husband’s attitude and I resented him for a long time. But there was no act of forgiveness, strictly speaking. First, because he did not admit any fault. The day he took his sister’s side against me in front of his parents, he explained to me that he could not have reacted otherwise, given his family history. I experienced it as a betrayal, especially since we had just had our first child. But I ended up understanding the context.

→ INVESTIGATION. Make peace with his family

Twenty years later, the same kind of scene happened again, and then he apologized to me. Since I was also wrong, we apologized to each other. Despite the difficulties, we wanted to move forward. That said, I don’t know how I would react in case of adultery. It would be a very deep wound but I think things are never easy in these situations. Maybe I would also have some responsibility if that happened. »

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