Life Style

Education of children, rules to be constantly adjusted



“The principle of family dinner has shifted”

Éloi, 19 years old

“At home, the rule of the evening meal taken together was intangible. As a teenager, that could sometimes weigh on me, seem restrictive to me. But looking back, I can see that without these family dinners, my parents and I could have lived next to each other without really talking to each other.

I have since left the family home to study. Strangely, when I come home, I realize that this principle, so important a few years ago, is no longer really respected. But the general spirit remains. This rule has shifted. Rather, now, it is not to miss birthday meals or large family gatherings. “

→ ANALYSIS. Children’s education: when real life challenges our principles

“We promised to speak to him in our mother tongues”

Marta, 38, mother of a 6-year-old daughter

“When our daughter was born six years ago, my husband and I promised to speak to her exclusively in our mother tongues, Spanish and Polish, so that she, along with French, could become fully trilingual.

For my part, I manage to stick to this principle, even if it is not always easy, in a French-speaking environment. But my husband almost stopped speaking to her in Spanish when he entered kindergarten.

During this period, our daughter was progressing very quickly in French, a language which had become perfectly natural to her. And my husband had the impression that she would have more facilities to exchange with him without resorting to Spanish. It must be said that, when we were very little, our daughter was naturally closer to me. And he was eager to forge a deep, quality relationship with her. “

→ READ. In search of a benevolent authority

“I would undoubtedly be more flexible today”

Zakia, 70, mother of two women in her thirties

“In my culture of origin, the Algerian culture, the question of family honor is very important. And I acted with my two daughters as they had acted with me. No going out with boys, no boyfriends until they come of age and study. I do not regret it. But today, if I had to redo their education, I would undoubtedly be more flexible. Because the weight of the family and of what to say is less. And that the world has changed. “

“We quickly fell into the clichés we wanted to fight”

Mathieu, 53, father of a teenager and a young adult

“With my wife, we were very keen not to reproduce gender stereotypes. We gave our daughter small cars, offered our son his sister’s toys. But we quickly fell into the clichés we wanted to fight: our boy was passionate about Lego and video games, which eclipsed everything, while our daughter continued to read a lot as a teenager. She became rather literary, he really mathematic …

This questions the scope of parents’ educational choices and the influence of society, the weight of other demands. And also upsets my certainties about the innate and the acquired. “

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