“A safe place to discuss difficult subjects”
Lisa (1), 39 years old
“After twenty-two years of marriage, my husband and I needed to consult a marriage counselor in order to overcome a moment of crisis. We had come to a point where we could no longer speak calmly to each other. We were both hurt and overwhelmed by our pain. All in a context of Covid and family tensions. A safe place and support were necessary for us to tackle difficult subjects. There, we could pose the problem as an element external to us.
And thanks to the benevolent gaze of the advisor, we managed to take a step back. At each session, we took stock and discussed how to move forward. We did this work for six months, twice, in 2015 and 2022, with one or two sessions per month. It allowed us to listen to each other with more objectivity and gave us the habit of setting up a framework for talking to each other. Not everything is settled, of course, but we are making progress. I also do a personal analysis. And we know that we can go back there if necessary. »
“These sessions gave me emotional security”
Ben (1), 40, husband of Lisa
“It was I who suggested to my wife to go see a marriage counselor, but she was willing each time. We are both convinced of the need to be accompanied in complicated times to preserve what matters most to us, that is to say our union and our commitments. We love each other but we are sometimes powerless to manage our emotions and our outbursts, and this work has allowed us to set limits.
Personally, these two therapies brought me emotional security and serenity to be able to tackle difficult subjects again and resolve blocking points. As we are a lot in the exchange, there is perhaps always a dissatisfaction in the clarification of things and it is not impossible that we will still need support in the future. »
“I felt like I was in a three-band game”
Sophia, 55 years old
“I don’t have a good experience of couples therapy. With my ex-husband, we did one in 2013 and another in 2017, a year and a half after our separation. He wanted us to get back together and I, on the contrary, wanted this work to help us separate better. It took me five years to be able to divorce. Although the situation was different each time, I found that both therapists did not do their job well. I felt like I was in a three-band game.
It must be said that my ex-husband seemed very sensitive but, from my point of view, we were in a situation of influence and emotional dependence that the two therapists did not identify, even qualifying my desire to leave of this pattern of “castrating behavior”. In both cases, this led to acting out (an infidelity, editor’s note) at home. And finally it was I who found, thanks to my personal work of analysis, the means to get out of this situation. »