What is to love? Do I really like the person I live with? These questions, often asked, sometimes go in circles endlessly. Because there is no simple answer. We have an idea of the state of love, often on a romantic model. And then there is the reality, which is not necessarily disappointing, but always surprising. The romantic, in fact, is not always where we expect it to be. Some people lament, for example, that they do not feel lacking when they move away from the loved one. It would then be necessary to feel the absence in a violent mode, as well as an addictive relationship.
The different colors of love
Why, then ? Even at the time of the meeting, which in the collective imagination must be captivating, the reality is often different. The words of lack describe one aspect of the romantic relationship, but there are other colors of love, those of complicity and play, those of poetic language. We can be very good together, and not be constantly lacking. There are other words than those of lack, which make it possible to create an intimate space, from which one feels free to enter and leave.
Yet the question is legitimate, as it is difficult to define what a romantic relationship is. But why seek to know at all costs? The questions open up to other questions, while life is to be experienced. And we can no longer locate the outline of what we are trying to understand. In fact, love is a house without walls, without apparent solidity, which contains thoughts, feelings, dreams and stories that we have woven together. All this is not built in hard, while remaining solid, as long as you put your own money into it. Hence the anxiety to analyze, to name …
Realistic and romantic
The romantic relationship is in fact both realistic and romantic. Realism consists of the concrete inhabitation of the link, a link whose narration in front of the other but also in front of all the others gives rise to a community of inventiveness. This does not prevent ambiguities and tensions, and these feed the paradox that is this house with transparent walls. Even Romeo and Juliet, examples of extreme romanticism in Shakespeare’s play, surround themselves with words expressing the strength and weakness of their common home, somewhere between pragmatism and poetic talk. During their last night. Romeo, a realist, tries to convince Juliet that they hear the song of the lark, the prelude of the dawn which must bring her to leave. But Juliette does her best to convince her lover that it is the nightingale singing under the pomegranate tree, and that the night could still last.
In this gray area of dawn where interpretation is uncertain – day or night? – the amorous discourse unfolds. Should we perceive there the nightingale or the lark, the attachment that never stops or the moment when it is time to tear yourself away? Without determining at all costs what it really is with love, the semi-darkness of dawn offers an enigmatic image of this house with transparent walls, so difficult to describe, that it is so soft, and sometimes uncomfortable to live in or leave.